my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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