i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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