If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
