apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
