There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize