She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize
