I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
