he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
