the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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