I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
