One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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