so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
