Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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