The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
