Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
