So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying