The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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