im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
