I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
