if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
