she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
