apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
