u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize