Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
