can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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