Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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