Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
