the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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