If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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