Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
