Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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