Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
wow bdsm is so cute
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