Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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