So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
