found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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