i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
