thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
