I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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