So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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