i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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