I got chris browned last night
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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