I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize