yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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