And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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