Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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