erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
