Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
