U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The power of my boobs compel you
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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