He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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