I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
