If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
