That's intense
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
