sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
