well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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