Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
