I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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