I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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