Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
