dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I came so hard my ears popped.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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