I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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