Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
