Already got asked if we're dating
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
