pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
