the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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