Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
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I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
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I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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